[[*my 6 cents worth]]

Thursday, June 22, 2006

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in exactly 12 hours..

i'll be leaving singapore..

just wanted to leave a note for you..

i do not have much words to express what i truly feel..

and even if i do..

i do not know what words to use too..

how are you these days?

fine i hope.

those SMSes that i've sent to you..

i don't know if you have received them..

or just simply feigning ignorance..

i wouldn't know..

but still..i just wanted to send them to let you know how i feel.

at times, i just hope to be someone whom you can talk to.

i hate the fact that i lost you to time and to another person.

and i don't even know if 'the other person' truly exists..

i don't deny i am feeling tired..

i've never spent this long a time waiting for someone to come back to me.

one year had past..

but the promise to wait is still valid..

and still on-going..

you left me with simply no reason to move on.

what is told is not the truth i know.

but i still chose to hold on.

through this one year..

i have never stop writing to you..

i have never stop thinking of how you have been..

and at times when i am all alone..

i tend to think of you..

think of the short times we once shared..

that period of time wasn't the best..

but it was one of the most memorable and sweetest to heart..

i don't know what made me hold on to this relationship for so long..

i tried to move on to other people..

but somehow rather..

they just do not fit the picture..

it ain't that they were no good or bad..

just that..

i had too much space for you to put another in it..

someone asked me what is it that i can't let go..

i kept quiet but..

i know deep down in my heart..

the answer is You.

how do i move on when You are the one i can't let go..

Mark..

no matter where and when..

always remember that..

no matter how much time had gone by..

you'll always have my heart..

and this wasted heart of mine will Love you till..

it stops.

another 6 cents thoughts at|6/22/2006 12:43:00 AM|

Thursday, June 15, 2006

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yesterday night..

i was reading the book 'The Five People you meet in Heaven' when i just thought of Mark..

it reminded me of this particular one time where me and him were just sitting on a bench and talking..

it was in the wee hours of the night..

just the both of us..

and after talking..we had went back to his car and he just stopped his car along this long stretch of road along Changi Road..

the both of us not knowing wherelse to go to then..

that moment was sweet..

that was about a year ago..

when i still had him by my side..

and that particular snapshot had me crying in the middle of last night..

i just could not hold it back..

i admit..

till today..

and maybe the days after..

Mark is gonna be a very sensitive issue to touch on..

he's just my soft spot..

like a very sensitive nerve..

once touched upon..

the tears would come neverending..

maybe i still miss him a lot..

just that i had not realised it since i have not been seeing him around recently..

but whenever i do..

his presence still has the ability to make my heart skip a beat..

another 6 cents thoughts at|6/15/2006 12:15:00 PM|

Friday, June 09, 2006

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last night..

i wrote a short poem for Mark..

this is how it goes...

'Today's sunset reminds me that you are not by my side tonight..
But i worry not..
Cause' Tomorrow's sunrise acts as a hope that you could be back..'

Time.

Maybe Time is all i need.

To do what, i don't know.

It's coming to a year since he left me.

And for this one year, i still miss him much.

That day, i bought the papers and a small notebook to contain all the notes that i have never stopped writing to him..

And the pictures of the Sky that i took whenever he comes across my mind.

Suddenly i feel kind of tired.

Just wanted to fly to other parts of the World and see how far the World really is.

Maybe this would be Good.

To leave Singapore for a couple of years.

And now i am wondering how long can i pull off this act of mine.

That i do not care for anything to do with him.

At the end of the day, it's only the tears and hurt that remains.

And the shattered pieces of a broken heart.

another 6 cents thoughts at|6/09/2006 02:04:00 PM|